Posts Tagged ‘Nympho Niagra’

Have you lost that lovin’ feelin’?

October 22, 2009

Ex-T-CeeEvery now an then, we, as women, just don’t feel like it. We’re not in the mood. Our head hurts. We’re tired. Just the mere thought of laying there doing the deed makes us roll our eyes. Is this because we really are not in the mood? Or do we mentally want to, our minds think of what it could be like, but our bodies just refuse to cooperate? Things in our lives get in the way of being intimate with our partners. Stress, medications, age, the thought of uncomfortable sex just turns us off that much more. Let’s begin the journey of arousal creams and what they do for us (men, please stick around, I’ll get to you shortly.)

Stress – You work 40+ hours a week. The car is in the shop again. Your kids need 25 cupcakes by tomorrow morning. You have a stack of laundry that needs to be put away. You have a huge presentation at work tomorrow to prepare for. Your a week away from your period. You spouse just lost his job. These are all stress factors. Stress prevents us from even thinking about getting excited for intimacy. Our physical bodies might be there, but our minds are not. And if our minds aren’t in it, then ladies, it just won’t happen for us tonight. You know, the “Big O”.

Medications – Are you diabetic? Take anti-depressants like Prozac? Did you know your medications can also lower your drive? That’s how I even came into this business. I was put on medication for my MS, and had lost most of my desire for my partner, and not his fault. When I finally gave in and attended a PR party, the consultant suggested it, and what do you know, an arousal cream later, I was raring to go! I thought it was just me getting older!

Nympho NiagraThe thought of uncomfortable sex – Patty Brisben (owner and founder of Pure Romance) compares women to crock pots and men to microwaves. We both do the same thing, it just takes us ladies a little longer to get there. In many cases, just as our engines are warming up to the point of excitement, it’s already over and we’re left wondering what happened and where the heck he went! Men, it takes time for our bodies to catch up with our minds, and time is precious, I know. You have to get our minds going before our bodies catch up. That’s why we need foreplay. Foreplay for a lot of men is her bending over to get the laundry out of the dryer at night and you’re ready to go.

So how will an arousal cream work for you? The most important ingredient in most arousal creams is menthol or mint oil. Ever chew an Altoid and take an open-mouth breath in? Feel cool and refreshing? Well, that same feeling is what happens when you put just a touch of an arousal cream down there. Just a pea-sized amount rubbed on the clitoris (the most sensitive area of a woman’s nether regions), and it begin to send that cooling sensation to our brains, which in turn, forces the body to send more blood flow to our genitals, and causing arousal. Just as a side note – ladies, I highly recommend putting the arousal cream on yourself, because we don’t need to hand it to them and them think they’re down there frosting a cake. PEA SIZE. That’s all we need.

Now men, I haven’t forgotten you. Viagra is everywhere, even NASCAR is being sponsored by them. The day I get Pure Romance on the back of a race car is the day I can quit my job. Until then, I’ll cover how you can benefit from these creams. Pure Romance offers three types of creams. My husband likes to refer to them as “How do you like your taco, Mild, Medium or Hot”, but then X-Screamagain, he’s a huge mexican food lover, so that analogy came easy. The cream we have specifically for both sexes is our X-Scream. And yes, if you use it right, you both will be screaming my name by the end of the night!

The reason X-Scream is unisex is because in our little tiny clitoris, there are 8,000-12,000 nerve endings in something the size of a pea. Men, however, have the same amount of nerve endings in the entire head, shaft and testicles. A lot more area, so you need something stronger, right? X-Scream has double the amount of menthol compared to the other two arousal creams, so this is perfect for both you and her. Another plus- it’s not medication – no prescription required, no doctor visits, no lasting effects (erection 4 hours later?), and you can use it when YOU’RE ready, not when the typical medication tells you you’re ready. How’s that for spontaneous?

I do warn you ladies, if you choose to X-Scream, you had better have your man or a toy ready to go, because you will begin looking at your door knobs in a whole new light if you’re left hanging! Or, if you prefer a night in by yourself, put just a dab on, turn on the ceiling fan, and…. well. You imagine the rest.

~D

“I feel the need – the need for speed!”

June 11, 2009

In today’s society, for the busy woman, our lives consist of spouses, children, laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, errands, soccer games, grocery store trips, fixing lunches for school kids, finding that lost soccer cleat for a game they are already late for, and much much more. Men on the other hand (in most cases), get up, get ready for work (a whole 10 minute ordeal), grab a cup of coffee and head to work. They do their 8-10 hours of work, come home to a cooked meal, watch some TV and if they are lucky, might get a little lovin’ before they hit the sack. It’s no wonder that women are run down, tired and in some cases turned into zombies by the time their heads hit the pillow. And now their dearest husands want them to partake in a quickie?

Take into consideration the fact that mens and womens bodies react differently to sex, and being turned on. Our consultants refer to it as, “Men are like microwaves, and women are like crock pots.” We all get to the same boiling point, it just takes us ladies a little longer to get there. Women are also emotional creatures – we love to be kissed, caressed, held, fondled, talked to, and then get into the good stuff. Men on the other hand, the lady of the house bends over to take a pizza out of the oven, and BAM! The men are raring to go! Guys, you can’t always just throw us on the bed like Fabio and expect us to be into it, let alone have our bodies prepared for it (lubrication). It takes time to get our engines running, but there are products on the market that do help speed up that process and help both of us!

Pure Romance offers a line of heightners that range from mild to wild. Ex-T-Cee is the mildest heightener. This is a mint oil based product. As an air activated product, it gives you the same feeling you get when you eat an Altoid and breathe in. Refreshing right? Well, Ex-T-Cee gives you that same feeling. Put a little on, lie on the bed and turn the ceiling fan on for loads of fun by yourself! Next in the levels from mild to wild is the Nympho Niagra. This is an excellent product for women who are prone to yeast or bacterial infections. It is also colorless, odorless and flavorless. This product is menthol based, so it is a little stronger than our Ex-T-Cee. It will definitely help to get your engine running! Lastly, is X-Scream. This is the wildest of the wild, and is our only unisex heightener. X-Scream has DOUBLE the menthol that Nympho has, and is of great help to ladies who have a very low sex drive, are on medications (like antidepressants), or for ladies who are very familiar with heighteners and want a little more vavoom!

Now also keep in mind a few little known facts –

1) Sex is healthy. It helps alleviate headaches. By having sex with a headache, your body opens up the capillaries and veins and allows the blood to flow freely. This will help get rid of that nagging aching head you’ve had all day!

2) Sex is a better pain killer than prescription vicodin. Hormones that are released during sexual excitement and orgasm can elevate pain thresholds.

3) A 30-minute lovemaking session can burn upwards of 85 calories. So what if you skipped them gym today? Have a little fun when you get home!

4) Aim for better physical health. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections.

So the best part of today lesson, sex is healthy, and once us crockpots make it to the same cooking levels as you microwaves out there, we’ll all have a happier, healthier living!

~Deb


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.