Have you lost that lovin’ feelin’?

Every now an then, we, as women, just don’t feel like it. We’re not in the mood. Our head hurts. We’re tired. Just the mere thought of laying there doing the deed makes us roll our eyes. Is this because we really are not in the mood? Or do we mentally want to, our minds think of what it could be like, but our bodies just refuse to cooperate? Things in our lives get in the way of being intimate with our partners. Stress, medications, age, the thought of uncomfortable sex just turns us off that much more. Let’s begin the journey of arousal creams and what they do for us (men, please stick around, I’ll get to you shortly.)

Stress – You work 40+ hours a week. The car is in the shop again. Your kids need 25 cupcakes by tomorrow morning. You have a stack of laundry that needs to be put away. You have a huge presentation at work tomorrow to prepare for. Your a week away from your period. You spouse just lost his job. These are all stress factors. Stress prevents us from even thinking about getting excited for intimacy. Our physical bodies might be there, but our minds are not. And if our minds aren’t in it, then ladies, it just won’t happen for us tonight. You know, the “Big O”.

Medications – Are you diabetic? Take anti-depressants like Prozac? Did you know your medications can also lower your drive? That’s how I even came into this business. I was put on medication for my MS, and had lost most of my desire for my partner, and not his fault. When I finally gave in and attended a PR party, the consultant suggested it, and what do you know, an arousal cream later, I was raring to go! I thought it was just me getting older!

The thought of uncomfortable sex – Patty Brisben (owner and founder of Pure Romance) compares women to crock pots and men to microwaves. We both do the same thing, it just takes us ladies a little longer to get there. In many cases, just as our engines are warming up to the point of excitement, it’s already over and we’re left wondering what happened and where the heck he went! Men, it takes time for our bodies to catch up with our minds, and time is precious, I know. You have to get our minds going before our bodies catch up. That’s why we need foreplay. Foreplay for a lot of men is her bending over to get the laundry out of the dryer at night and you’re ready to go.

So how will an arousal cream work for you? The most important ingredient in most arousal creams is menthol or mint oil. Ever chew an Altoid and take an open-mouth breath in? Feel cool and refreshing? Well, that same feeling is what happens when you put just a touch of an arousal cream down there. Just a pea-sized amount rubbed on the clitoris (the most sensitive area of a woman’s nether regions), and it begin to send that cooling sensation to our brains, which in turn, forces the body to send more blood flow to our genitals, and causing arousal. Just as a side note – ladies, I highly recommend putting the arousal cream on yourself, because we don’t need to hand it to them and them think they’re down there frosting a cake. PEA SIZE. That’s all we need.

Now men, I haven’t forgotten you. Viagra is everywhere, even NASCAR is being sponsored by them. The day I get Pure Romance on the back of a race car is the day I can quit my job. Until then, I’ll cover how you can benefit from these creams. Pure Romance offers three types of creams. My husband likes to refer to them as “How do you like your taco, Mild, Medium or Hot”, but then again, he’s a huge mexican food lover, so that analogy came easy. The cream we have specifically for both sexes is our X-Scream. And yes, if you use it right, you both will be screaming my name by the end of the night!

The reason X-Scream is unisex is because in our little tiny clitoris, there are 8,000-12,000 nerve endings in something the size of a pea. Men, however, have the same amount of nerve endings in the entire head, shaft and testicles. A lot more area, so you need something stronger, right? X-Scream has double the amount of menthol compared to the other two arousal creams, so this is perfect for both you and her. Another plus- it’s not medication – no prescription required, no doctor visits, no lasting effects (erection 4 hours later?), and you can use it when YOU’RE ready, not when the typical medication tells you you’re ready. How’s that for spontaneous?

I do warn you ladies, if you choose to X-Scream, you had better have your man or a toy ready to go, because you will begin looking at your door knobs in a whole new light if you’re left hanging! Or, if you prefer a night in by yourself, put just a dab on, turn on the ceiling fan, and…. well. You imagine the rest.

~D

Oral Lesson for the Men

OK guys, the ladies had their lesson, and “push” of why oral is pleasurable, now it’s your turn.

I have talked to many men in regards to giving oral to the ladies, and there isn’t so much pushback of “I don’t like to” as there is “I’m not sure how” or “Am I doing it right?” So here is your lesson for the day. How to give great oral.

To begin with, there is no “right way” to do it. Every man finds his own technique, and every woman is different, so what your previous partner may have loved, may not drive your current lady wild. So when you’ve got your technique down to a science, don’t go hi-fiving your buddies thinking you know what she likes.

First off, understand that a woman’s erogenous zone is packed with 8,000-12,000 nerve endings in the clitoris alone; whereas your head, shaft and testicles have that many in that large of an area.  Don’t start off heading straight for the gold. It takes us gals a little longer to warm up than it does the men. This is called FOREPLAY. Warm us up before you go rubbing and grabbing down there. You can start our engines by kissing, caressing, massaging gently all parts of our bodies, not just our erogenous zones. Take your time. There’s no rush. Well, unless you have kids, then your time may be limited!

One sure-fire way to get us going – come close to touching our zones, then move away. For example, try kissing our inner thighs, moving closer to the touchdown, then pull back and kiss our stomachs. It’s all about anticipation. Next, when you move in for the kill, don’t start rubbing like your trying to start a fire with two sticks down there. GENTLENESS is a priority.

There are five major areas in our genital areas- the labia majora (outer lips), labia minor (inner lips), clitorial hood (which covers the clitoris), the clitoris and of course the vagina. Treat each one of these as their own entity. We’re entitled! If you are laying facing our vagina head-on, you will find that the clitoral hood covers the clitoris. Again, gently pull back the hood to expose the clitoris. It will feel almost like a tiny rubbery pebble. It is extremely sensitive to the touch, so do not use a dry finger to touch it. At this point, it is best to suggest a lubricant, for you and for her.

One of Pure Romance’s top selling lubricants is now Sweet Seduction in Vanilla. Many consultants like to refer to it as “He can have his cake and eat you too” because it tastes just like good ‘ol fashioned birthday cake! It’s a water-based lubricant which is safe for use with latex condoms.It works with a woman’s natural lubrication and has a re-wetting quality. It will continue to work about as long as you do!

Put just a dime size amount on your finger and gently rub it into her vaginal areas, ensuring that every part is well coated. This will prevent friction, and in turn, will lower her chance of a yeast or bacterial infection. Now from here, some men vary on their technique for oral. I’ve heard some say they lick the alphabet, others lick to the speed of a song in the heads…whatever works for you. The point here is, listen to her, and be in tune with how her body reacts. If she feels like she’s pulling away from you, then stop that technique. It may be causing pain, or for some, they are still a little too sensitive at this point of play. Move on to another technique and come back to that one again later. If you get the same reaction, then I suggest not trying that one again! If she moans in pleasure, then take heed she is liking your moves, and continue onward!

A few other things to keep in mind- we don’t JUST want our vaginas touched, licked, sucked. This is when it helps to multi-task. Caress her breasts. Rub her outer thighs. If she enjoys, then try inserting a toy. Some women like the combination of both oral and toy play. Some women have also reported to enjoy having the clitoris “hummed” on. To do this, wrap your lips around her clitoris sucking it into your mouth, then lightly hum. It’s like having a human vibrator! But men, by no means should you ever, EVER blow into the vagina. This is medically dangerous to a woman.

So there you have it guys. A girls guidance to give oral to another lady. Who better would know than another gal? We’re all different but we talk. We discuss what we like with other friends. Now we let you in on the secret, GO OUT THERE AND GET HER!

~Deb